I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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