I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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