Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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