I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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