Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
