i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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