new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
