I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
