You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize