I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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