This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
