Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize