The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
