How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
