Do you still have your period?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
