She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
