fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
