the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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