sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i would punch a child for taco bell
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
