the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
