Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she peed on how many people?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
