That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
