I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
