I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
