girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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