shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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