Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
