i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i drank out of a bidet.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
