Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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