I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
