I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
