Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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