i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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