"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
There are leaves in my underwear?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
