Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
