Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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