it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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