oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
