put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
