found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
