i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
