I looked at my own cervix.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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