you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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