As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
This house was built for laser tag.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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