Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
