I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
