I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Fuck appropriateness.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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