And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
