Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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