After last night, I could never be a politician.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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