Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
