Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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