Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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