I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
