Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
