someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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