ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
