I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
