All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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