THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
