2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
