If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
