he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize