how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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