So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
