I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
