I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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