**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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