wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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