hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize