I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
